LGBTQ+: Together We Stand

The Problem With A Gay Dumbledore

Hi all! This is a topic that has crawled out of the depths of my memory, and though it may be a somewhat old topic, it still is important to notice.

As a young child I was a very big fan of Harry Potter, and I still remain a fan today (though my view on some topics as well as the author have changed). At age eight, I read the entire seven book series of Harry Potter in about a month and a half. There were many times that I refused to put a book down, even for other things I enjoyed. At that time, Harry Potter was this magical world that could be my escape as I fantasized being celebrated for being different.

As I got older and started to come to terms with my LGBT identity, Harry Potter was still important to me in a lot of ways. When I was sad it was a familiar place I could go to in my mind to make me feel better. Seeing a place where everyone was celebrated for being “abnormal” was able to help me feel at peace during my identity crisis.

Then one day at the grocery store, I saw a headline that changed everything:
JK Rowling announces that professor Albus Dumbledore is gay.

I could barely contain my excitement. Here was a character in the franchise that I loved and held so close to my heart, who was just like me. He knew what I felt. I finally had someone in a significant role in the media that I could identify with.

For a long time, I kept this idolization of a gay Dumbledore. Having this new information made me and many other young LGBTQ+ kids feel a lot less alone in the world. But as I have gotten older and more comfortable in my own identity, there were more problems that arose in this viewpoint, as well as with the Harry Potter author herself.

LGBTQ+ representation in the media is a truly powerful thing. For people to be able to directly identify with someone on a screen or on the pages of a book are life changing to minority groups. The issue with some of this so called representation however, as with Albus Dumbledore being gay, is that there really isn’t any representation at all.
I have re-read the entire Harry Potter series several times, including after I learned that Dumbledore was gay. There is never a time in the books that Dumbledore is in a relationship, or even talks about being in one. Don’t get me wrong, that isn’t what bothered me. I enjoyed the fact that he didn’t have a romantic interest as a main driving force for his character. But there was no representation of his sexuality. No, it never said that he was straight, but it never said that he was anything else. JK Rowling saying that he was gay even though that was never mentioned at all was beginning to feel more and more like a half-assed attempt at minority points for her and her writing.

This has happened several times with JK Rowling, which has made me question the decision to “out” Dumbledore as gay even more. As more Harry Potter franchise pieces came into existence (Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Crimes of Grindewald, etc.) the idea of Hermione being a person of color was brought up. There is nothing wrong with having Hermione being represented this way, in fact I think that it would have been really wonderful to see a POC main character in such a widespread and beloved franchise. However, the issue I found arose when JK Rowling suggested that she didn’t write Hermione as a white character.

Is Hermione Granger necessarily white? - Quora

It is wonderful to see this author supporting the idea, however Hermione was very clearly white in the books. There are several times that she is described as “pale”, and even a line saying “Her white face was sticking out from behind a tree.” Even the art on the covers and above the chapter titles shows Hermione as having very light skin. Instead of saying that she supports the idea of a POC Hermione, JK Rowling once again appeared to be trying to gain “minority points” by saying that she was inclusive all along.

So why is it a problem that Dumbledore is gay? Well it isn’t, other than the fact that he really isn’t gay. Even in Crimes of Grindewald, where we meet a young Albus Dumbledore and who seems to be his ex boyfriend Gellert Grindewald, there is never an explicit representation of Dumbledore being gay. This is what is known as “queeerbaiting”, which is a marketing technique that creators do where they hint at LGBTQ+ representation, but do not actually depict it, in hopes of getting support of an LGBTQ+ following. This happens a lot in shows and is often negatively effective on support of the LGBTQ+ community. Instead of normalizing gay relationships and trans/non binary representation, creators are letting those who can recognize tells of them believe what they wish, while also allowing unaware straight people, as well as ignorant hateful people, to still enjoy watching the show without them noticing the LGBTQ+ representation. It makes the viewer do the work in order to see themselves represented in the media.

Further look into JK Rowling shows that she may seem to be an advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, but recently has said some things that lead people (as well as myself) to believe that she may be transphobic, or at least misinformed on trans people. That is an entirely different blog post, since it is a very touchy subject and there is a lot of information that goes into the entire situation. I will link that blog post below once I finish writing it.

At the end of the day, minority representation in the media is crucial, especially in large franchises such as Harry Potter. More representation is needed, but half-assed attempts at representation years after a piece of media has been produced proves to just be negative and honestly a little bit insulting. Representation of minorities of all kinds is something beautiful and necessary as the world develops into a more accepting place.

Until next time, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you.

Raising Children as Gender-Neutral

Hi all!

This topic was widespread throughout the media when it first came to light. When I first heard about it a few months ago, I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about it.
Here is one article about a couple raising their child as gender neutral. A married couple who live in Somerset, England named Hobbit Humphrey and Jake England-Johns have decided to raise their child Anoush with they/them pronouns. (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2019/09/17/couple-reveal-raising-child-gender-neutral-havent-even-told/)
“Close family members have not been told the child’s sex and grandmother, Camille, only found out when she changed a nappy. ‘Eventually, we decided that we wouldn’t tell people whether they were a boy or a girl … in order to create this little bubble for our baby to be who they are,’ Ms Humphrey said.”

As a transgender man, my personal experience would have perhaps been easier if I had been raised as gender-neutral. I suspect that many other transgender and nonbinary people feel the same way. However, I personally do not think that raising children as gender-neutral (that is, using they/them pronouns and never calling them either a boy or a girl) is the right way to raise children.

As a person who has gone through a gender-questioning period of my life, I can say with confidence that I would not wish it on my worst enemy. It is not a fun experience to have to deal with, and often times it leads to mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Gender dysphoria (which according to the Human Rights Campaign is defined as “Clinically significant distress caused when a person’s assigned birth gender is not the same as the one with which they identify.”) can be a very difficult thing to have to experience, and often times you can feel like you are alone before you begin to understand what is going on. There were many years where I just tried to ignore my feelings of gender dysphoria, mainly because I thought that it was just how teenagers were.

According to The Williams Institute, 1.4 million adults identify as transgender, which is about 0.6% of the United States population (https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/research/how-many-adults-identify-as-transgender-in-the-united-states/). The truth of the matter is that most people are cisgender, which means they identify as the gender they were born as. This does not mean that transgender people and nonbinary people are insignificant and shouldn’t be cared about, we are important, but just a small percentage. When raising children who are most likely going to be cisgender as gender-neutral, it forces them to have to go through a gender identity crisis when they previously may have not needed to. If I could choose to not be transgender, I would much rather have it that way if only to avoid the anxiety and confusion of it all, especially when I was younger. Raising everyone as gender-neutral forces everyone to have to go through the same thing I did, which is unhelpful and somewhat disheartening.

I do believe that the people who decide this are in charge of their own lives however, and I also believe that they have the best intentions at heart. What I wholeheartedly believe in, is the destruction of gender roles and stereotypes.
If your child is a boy but wants to wear a dress and play with dolls, then let him. If your daughter wishes to play football and wear cargo shorts and a suit, then let her (I am using complete reverses of stereotypes here for a reason). If either of those children later decide that they are transgender or nonbinary, then support them unconditionally, however that may not be the case and forcing that case onto them can be detrimental to their mental health. You can support your children and still allow them to make decisions about their gender expression (and if/when it comes to it, their gender identity) without forcing them to make those decisions when they may not be ready to.

If the whole world decided to raise everyone as gender-neutral, then this idea may work well. However there are an unfortunately high number of people who are uneducated and negatively bias against LGBT people, especially nonbinary people. Having young children who are not within a gender binary around these people could be bad for them and for their parents.
Until we reach a point where everyone is open to every aspect of the LGBTQ+ community, the best that we can do is allow children to be themselves and make their own decisions if it comes to that, and to always remember to support them no matter what.

Until next time, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you.

Straight Pride Parade

Hi all!

I wanted to wait until the heat of this had blown over a bit for me to write about it. Now that it has been a while, I think it’s a good time to talk about it calmly.

I remember hearing about the group of people who wanted to hold a Straight Pride Parade in Boston Massachusetts, and my first thought was singularly “What?” I was so entirely confused. Straight Pride Parade? But why?

And that honestly is still my thought. When I have brought up this question to my parents, my mother (who loves to play devil’s advocate to the point where it’s annoying) said simply “Why not?” I never understood this initial response, and I voiced that. “Because there’s no reason?”

Something that I don’t think many straight people understand is what the LGBT Pride Parades are really about. I understand that at this point in history and in our part of the world, they can be seen as just a big party, but that is not what they are and that is not what they have ever been.

LGBT Pride Parades began in the United States in the 70’s, the first one being on June 28, 1970. This marked the one year anniversary of the Stonewall Riots in New York, where many members of the LGBT community fought back against police violence. This was the catalyst for the modern day LGBT movements. Pride didn’t come from a celebration. Pride is rooted in fear and perseverance and an unwillingness to conform despite the entire world telling you that you are wrong for simply existing.
As time has gone on, the LGBT movement has gotten a lot of attention, and bigotry and homophobia has decreased greatly. Whether this is a sign of the times or the passing of older and bigoted generations I do not know, but either way I am grateful for the increase of acceptance. However we are nowhere near perfect.

This is a list of countries and their punishments for being gay.

Maximum sentences in countries that criminalise homosexuality:

LIFE:

Gambia

Ghana

Tanzania

Sierra Leone

Barbados

Guyana

Bangladesh

20 YEARS:

Malaysia

17 YEARS:

Egypt

15 YEARS:

Antigua and Barbuda

14 YEARS:

Kenya

Malawi

Zambia

United Arab Emirates

Papua New Guinea

Tuvalu

Solomon Islands

Kiribati

Nigeria

10 YEARS:

South Sudan

Ethiopia

Dominica

Grenada

Jamaica

Saint Kitts and Nevis

Saint Lucia

Sri Lanka

Tonga

Zimbabwe

Saint Vincent and the Grenadines

7 YEARS:

Samoa

Qatar

Kuwait

5 YEARS:

Cameroon

Senegal

Comoros

Mauritius

4 YEARS:

Libya

3 YEARS:

Morocco

Togo

Uzbekistan

Guinea

Eritrea

Oman

Syria

Tunisia

2 YEARS:

Algeria

Burundi

Turkmenistan

Pakistan

1 YEAR:

Liberia

Bhutan (laws currently bring brought forward to decriminalise homosexuality)

UNDISCLOSED:

Chad

Namibia

Swaziland

Countries that carry fines for convicted homosexuality:

Angola

Countries where a homosexuality conviction caries torture as a punishment:

Maldives – whipping for 20 strokes

Countries that carry the death penalty:

Mauritania – for Muslim men

Nigeria – northern states that approve Sharia Law

Sudan – after a third conviction

Qatar – for Muslims, for extra-marital sex

Somalia

Iran

Saudi Arabia

Yemen

Islamic State of Iraq and the Levent Afghanistan – where controlled by Al-Qaeda

(https://www.outlife.org.uk/which-countries-criminalise-homosexuality?gclid=Cj0KCQiAjfvwBRCkARIsAIqSWlMl79PGJGKrtbiV1yjSBOGq0aSV3yDNgAfGHAyxxuX7EUvUSzc92AsaAhYdEALw_wcB)

Sixty six countries have made being gay illegal and a punishable offense. That is about 1/3 of all the countries of the world. This isn’t even including places where gay marriage isn’t legalized, which is one hundred and sixty nine countries. I cannot go to sixty six countries and exist for fear of being put in jail, tortured, or killed. If I chose to move to another country, I could only live in 26 where I could legally get married to a man. Being transgender adds a whole other level of fear and inability to live, but this is just about being gay. I am bisexual so I am not even gay, but if I were to wish to marry a man I couldn’t do it in 169 countries, 66 of which I would be imprisoned or killed.

THIS is what Pride is rooted in. Pride is rooted in the fact that LGBT people are not allowed to exist in places, let alone are they represented. The United States has come along way, but it’s not enough to be happy to live in this country when there are so many other people around the world who are killed for simply existing.

Straight Pride is rooted in being glad that you aren’t gay. Honestly if you are straight, good for you. I don’t care frankly, if you are a good person. It’s not about that. It’s never been about that. Gay people don’t attack straight people for being straight, and if you are straight and a member of the LGBT community has attacked you for being so then I am genuinely sorry. People often conflate homophobes with straight people, and everyone needs to remember that is not the same thing. But straight pride parade is unnecessary. Straight people have never been oppressed. There is not a single country where a straight couple can’t get married. There is not a single country where a straight person can’t exist for fear of imprisonment or death.

I remember reading the article about the group that wanted to have a Straight Pride Parade, and I remember laughing out loud while reading it. The article is from the Boston Globe, and states the following:

The Super Happy Fun America (the people who wanted to begin the Straight Pride Parades) website states that heterosexuals are “an oppressed majority” that has “languished in the shadows for decades.” The organization also wants the letter “S” to be added to the acronym LGBTQ.
“Until an ‘S’ is added, LGBTQ pride will continue to be a system of oppression designed to systematically erase straight people from existence,” a blog entry states.
…”We just want to have our own celebration just like everybody else has a right to.”

(If you wish to read more, here is the article https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2019/06/26/straight-pride-parade-will-held-boston-aug-according-organizers/g8PJbGFiMevFI3PdtENgXP/story.html )

As I previously stated, straight people especially those who approve of and want a Straight Pride Parade believe that LGBT Pride is just a big celebration, and not a symbol of perseverance, as they literally stated through “We just want to have our own celebration just like everybody else has a right to.”

Apparently the people here believe that the so called “Gay agenda” is to systematically erase straight people from existence, which is completely ridiculous. The entire idea is to be equals. Just like Black Lives Matter means that people of color are equal to white people, LGBT pride means that LGBT people are equal to straight cisgender people.

The claim in here that frankly pisses me off is the sentence “languished in the shadows for decades.” Since only 2003, consensual sexual activity between two adults of the same sex has been legal nationwide in the United States. It has only been since 2015 that gay marriage has been legalized nationwide. Since it has been legal everywhere, it hasn’t even been two decades. Since gay marriage was legalized, it hasn’t been a single decade. The idea that straight people have ever been oppressed is misguided and frankly, just plain wrong.

This is why so many people got so angry at the idea of a Straight Pride Parade. It makes people in society who don’t know anything about LGBT issues believe that we just want a party to celebrate being us for no reason. It lessens the weight of the systematic oppression that LGBT people face everywhere, including in this country.

I am very lucky to live in the country that I do as an LGBT person, but even still, nowhere is perfect and the idea of Straight Pride just shows this country’s general ignorance towards LGBT issues.

Until next time, stay strong, stay beautiful, stay you.

First Blog

Hello all!
This is my first blog on this site, and I am very excited to begin these conversations. This initial blog post is mainly just to explain what this site is all about, and my main goal.

There are often times when I will have conversations with friends or family members about certain LGBTQ+ topics. As a transgender man, there are of things I have observed through society that have happened with LGBTQ+ people, and I also have personal experiences with many of these topics. I am very fortunate to come from an accepting family, although I know of many people who are not as lucky.
I firmly believe that knowledge can lead to acceptance, as many people fear the unknown and that fear often unfortunately morphs into hatred and bigotry. That is why this blog’s main purpose is to talk about different LGBTQ+ issues and topics, spread awareness, and hopefully get people to understand the LGBTQ+ community a little bit better.

I do not speak for the entire LGBTQ+ community, nor could I. Everyone has their own views, and everyone is entitled to their own opinions of whomever. Unfortunately I have seen many of these misguided opinions lead to hatred and unacceptance that can be detrimental to the LGBTQ+ community. My goal is to spread awareness and to possibly change some misguided and dangerous views.
I am always up for respectful conversations on any of the topics I write about, after all I am just one person and there is a whole world of people and information and viewpoints that I have never seen before. I come from a family who loves to kindly debate, and they have taught me how to see other viewpoints and to know how to respectfully engage in conversations. Some topics I will generally be more headstrong on, but I am open to those most of all. Like I said, I am just one person in a whole world of knowledge and experiences.

No matter who you are, all are welcome on this blog to converse or to just read at their leisure. There is never any hatred here.

Thank you for reading!